A Small Problem

We spent a week out on the west coast recently visiting family.  We had a wonderful time. The only hiccup came on the day we left when Slave had a small break down because of underwear.  She had asked for me to select her panties for her.  I did not get to it right away as kids were going in and out of the room.  When I made my selection, which was no panties, she was not in the room.  I started moving packed bags to the door and she came back in the room to get dressed.

When I came back to the room she was crying.  When I asked her what the matter was she said, "Sometimes I hate this," meaning TTWD.  She started to shut down and didn't want to talk about it right then.  I gently forced the subject to let her know that our D/s relationship is not meant to make her upset.  I ultimately selected some panties for her to wear and we got on with the day.

That night we had spot for the night in a small town on our way home.  Once the kids were in bed I asked Slave to accompany me on a walk.  We walked around for a while, then found a bench to sit on and talk.  I asked if she had anything else she wanted to talk to me about.  We sat in silence for a little bit before she brought up how she was feeling about things.

She said that she loves what we do, but she is very afraid of someone, especially family, finding out about it.  In her head she knows that our D/s relationship is no one's business but our own, but she cannot stop being afraid of what people may think if they found out.  We are not overt about this side of ourselves, even more so because we have children.  The most overt thing about our relationship is a necklace that serves as her day collar and even then she does not where it every day.  We talked about a few things that make her uncomfortable when in the company of others and things she is okay with.

The other thing she brought up was her underwear.  She doesn't have an issue with my having control over her underwear, but she feels very demeaned if she has to ask for her underwear.  Now, I don;t make her ask to wear underwear, but sometimes I get busy with my own morning routine that I forget to get it ready for her.  In those cases she usually picks out a pair of panties and asks if they are okay for her to wear, which causes the negative. I am trying very hard to stay on top of this.  I have also setup a visual system to help out.  If I have made the decision that Slave will not wear panties I put a red loop on the handle of her underwear drawer, and if I am letting her choose her underwear for the day I put a different coloured loop on the handle, otherwise it is her panties I hang on the handle.

All in all, our discussion that night was very good.  She promised to talk to me when she starts having negative thoughts or emotions about anything in her submission to me. I, on the other hand, promised to make sure I am being clear and proactive in the areas she has given me control in.

On the way back to the motel,  stuck my hand down the front of her pants and played with her clit and pussy for two blocks as we walked.  I had one wet slave when we finally returned.